today i made a huge mistake... u follow me to jog and eat and back to my place.... i feels so nice when u at my side.... i feel at ease.... but however i ask a question to u... a question that i should not ask u as well... i felt so worry after asking u... u face also changed... ur mood so down... i felt so stupid asking u that question....
today met grandma... she told me that "he" changed d... she ask me to go back and cook for "him" on his birthday... she want me to talk back to him... i got think want to talk back to him... i got tried before... but at last i couldn't do it... i noe how much she wish me to back.. but i really cant... the feeling that he had gave me since i was small till now couldn't be forget....
how am i going to back... should i stay with piggy o continue renting....??? i don't really know... i very blur on making this decision... i hope someone can make a decision for me.....
today i din go to pray mummy... i scared i cry... i miss her so much... recently i always dreamt of mummy... her face was not as happy as i dreamt bout her before.... but i also know that she at ease now... i just hope that i will be making the rite decision when the time came...
recently my stomach pain.... i don't know what happen...it keep paining nwadays... today dunno why there is blood in me... i scared to have that "canxxx"... i don't want to have it now... i also suppose not that d but that also like my "that".... why like that???? am i really have a "canxxx".... i scared to have a body check up... but i will go and have a check up... hope nothing happen on me....don't know i have the bravery on receiving the report or not later after the check up....
my feeling mixing up now............. i hope renee will be around with me....
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