letting go o giving up

mami,

here i come again to talk with you... mami, today he come to find me with chloe for lunch... i know he wanna lunch for me but i really dun wan to be with him for the time being... i had been sleeping separately with him for almost 3 weeks... my feeling cannot be back to the old times where we use to be... i even avoid him... if he near me i will be scare... the scare feeling is like being 'rape' if he try to touch me o near me...

mami, i planning to langkawi for a real cool down and relax.... i know as long as i am still here, i could not be who i wan to be... i had been waiting a msg from someone who will never msg me... i had been waiting a call from someone who will never call me... for someone i am not more than a client i think... now not someone avoid me but is me who avoid someone... someone is the type tat i like with the age but i know that someone will never have feel for me.... for tis i am giving up.... tired of waiting...

mami, i hope tat after langkawi trip i and him will be back as normal... if he cannot trust me for only 3 days no point for us to be together as i had trust him for near 5 years and yet i found out that i am being cheated... it's really hard to pull my heart back after all the hurt that he had cause.... if he dun wan to let me go i will choose to let go this relationship... i know for sure now what is my decision and choice.... is not i dun wan t give chance but is him never appreciate and seal the chance... 4 years is not short but is better to break now than later... am i right mami....??? my heart dunno y die d for him... i am fed up in giving.... if he dun wan treasure himself dun expect me to treasure him as there's no point... love is not everything...

mami, i wan to be a woman every guy who wish to have but can never get....