meeting u after a long time really beyond my expectation... i had never expected we could meet up after so long... honestly to say i am really happy and very happy... the first time we met again tat day my heart got a strange feeling... i feel weird and i shouldn't have this feeling for i wasn't single at that time.... i didn't tell you this... eventually after tat day i start to contact you more and i had been always finding you... i also dunno why i always finding u and i wasn't suppose to as i had a bf tat time... i just feel i wanna talk to u...until i break with him actually u r the one be by my side not ah fa... i had never told tis to anyone before.... even RL... i make fa acc me cause tat time i thought u wanna chase shella so i din call u... the day we first time go out and watch our first movie together i still could rmb it... maybe i really have a bit over when i go out with fa... once i realize tat fa have feeling towards me i already pull myself but he step in more deeper.... at ur birthday..~~ i was not really happy when i saw hw he treat ur fren... tat time i dun noe what's going with me... i noe i couldn't give him a chance... i felt that i am so bad to him.... i felt that i am using him during my hard times... when he propose to me i was shocked but i am not happy...
when we go out together... i felt so happy... when we out together i can laugh freely and be myself and this thing never happen when i be with fa... i don't dare to think too much that time... i don't want to treat you as my spare or replacement because of chiang.... 7 months is not short as well... for a love that i had sacrifice in is not easy to forget... what RL feels now i could sense it and understand... but i don't want she to be like me... it's not right at all...
on the day u propose to me... i was excited... i don't know how to describe the excitement feeling in me... i purposely ask u to give me some times to think about it... i scared u play me... y i wait till my birthday only let you know the answer cause i wan to leave a memory for me and also if can is for us... i dunno you know bout it or not... i wan you to feel it...
being with you nowadays was a marvellous... but i know my own problem... i am easily jealous and its quite big as well... although i know you just play with them, but i cant stop myself from being jealous... i don't want to turn myself this way... i felt hard and tired... that why i start don't want to bother so much your things...
one thing i lie to you is i can accept ur past... but the truth is i cant really... the past i meant at here is jane... i really cant accept u still kept ur memory with her... i shouldn't be this selfsh... my heart in a hard and also pain till i cant say... however i also choose to remain silence... i don't to let you feel any burden when be with me... a thing if i keep ask and tell will cause u burden and stress... i don't want that to happen... What i wish on my birthday is i wan my family back... and i also wan you to be happy all day long... i dont wan u to sad or unhappy... that is why i rather silence than seeing you upset and down...
i know that you had been trying your best to suit me... you stop your smoking because of me... i feels so sorry to you... i don't know whether i should let you continue smoke back or stop you at all... seeing you cant really enjoy with your frens making me so sad.... i don't really know... am i really harsh??? i am so sorry.... Sorry my piggy dear.... i think i had been making a mistake..........................
My darling U r great ald... I saw u kept improve yrself, tats is great^^ Jia You^^ as long u gt try yr best^^ n learn the mistake tat u had... change it...
ReplyDeleteFinally, u can using blogger ald. So happy 2 see u here^^ haha^^ rmb go change yr format, change the time +8hours de, M'sia!!! bcoz nw is using US time i think^^
Gd luck 2 u ya^^