y am i need to do tis???

i noe no matter hw i still need to go back... i still need to face it...i noe i should not think too much... i also noe no matter hw he still my "dad"...

but tis time i really cant just let it be like tis.... i really cant just treat as nothing happen... each day my heart in pain... i also noe even though i forgive for what he has done, that still happen and i cant really let it go... this is not me after all...

he caused me in this hard mess... i hardly find myself back nw... 

today early in the morning... i dun wanna to wake up as well... i really today wont come... however it still arrived... i suppose to work at 9 but i have no mood and intention to work... i work at 10... honestly to say i prefer working more than having free time... as i dun have to think of anything except finish up my task...

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seeing piggy family support me... i felt touch and sad... i know they treating me good... especially piggy... i saw his moody and down face... i dun wan to see his moody face... i felt he be with me is not an easy thing... 

today hug piggy... i really dun wanna let go... i dun wan let him go to work... i need him badly today... lunch time i call him... i wanna so much to tell him that i need him... i need him badly...  but i also noe i still need to face him no matter how hard i try to avoid...


no one noe my feeling today... my heart beat felt stop... feel hard to breathe....


piggy where are you??? i really need u here....


maybe will go to beach after tis.... i need to be myself back and find myself back.... i am lost........