mami,
here i come again... mummy my heart still in pain... mummy i dunno whether my heart still have him or not... my mind keep on saying tat i still have him and he always appeared in my memory but y did my heart could not feel anything.... his birthday is nearer and i dunno wanna do what for him... thinking on how he treat me really makes my heart aches but i knew tat if i didn't do anything for him i would feel disappointed and maybe i wont even get through myself.... but wat can i do???
mummy, i felt tat i am really useless.... even though i wanna stop this relationship i also not dare... maybe he thinks the same way as i am... maybe he also wanna stop just dunno how to stop... i really cant take this hurt and disappointed anymore... i thought the pain and hurt that he made 4 years ago could disappear as times gets longer however it didn't.... it's just get deeper... i gets hurt and more hurt each times it reflect back to me...
mummy, this cant be cast away and it's like hunted me.... i felt scared to face him as times past and i dunno what am i doing lately... i'm out of control.... i hate myself sooo much......
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