dunno wat's going on

mami,

i met a guy recently... honestly i very hate him last time cause i knew he is not a good guy... but to be true, he is really a good looking guy... i had to admit that as time goes by i had a feeling towards him... every night before i went to bed and after i wake up, my mind was full of him... he keeps on appearing in my mind... I don't know why this can happen to me... last Fri night, when he fetch me home with motorbike, i felt so comfortable.. i dunno tat is it because i need an embrace or because of my feel towards him... i had telling myself not to think so much and get rid of him out of my mind but he keep on appearing on my mind... eventhough when i am talking to u now, he still appearing in my mind... however after tat night, he had avoid me... i dunno wat happen... i really wan to know wat happen to cause us cant even be friend... i dun think tat even though i am register i am totally belongs to other.... after all these years, i finally can get this comfortable feeling after i lost danson but y now they also wan to take it away from me... cant they just let me feel happy and let me through my life first... i really i can delete or get a disease which can cause me to forget all my memory so tat i dun have to think again and again... y he can totally change... y cant just be friend... is it tat a register woman cannot be friend with other guys? is it tat i am totally belongs to someone d until i lost my rights and my freedom with my lifestyle... o because i am to forward towards a guy cause him to scare??? am i not going to meet him again??? does it means tat i will never get the chance to seek what's best for me...
at least let me have the chance to understand what happen... if it is because of tat night, then i wan to know y he avoid me mami.... u miss ur chance and in love with wrong person... i dun wan to be like u...

mami, eventhough sheng treat me nice now... send me msg, call me, hug me or even pamper me... i dun have the feel d... i know tat i had totally lost feeling in him and can never trust him again after what had happen... no one will understand on y i can be in behaviour... both of us are tired... i rally wan to file a divorce d... i feel so stress and tension when ever he is around...i wan to get out from here... i know tat no matter what he do i won't have any feeling d...i had totally lost interest... but i dun wan to file divorce yet now.... i wont do any chinese ritual marriage now... i will wait him to get better with his business then only i will file divorce... he wont get divorce.. i will apply on my side... i really cannot stand anymore... he is not the one for me for i will never forgive his family for what they have done... i wan to get out from here...........

mami, what should i do to hear and knows what's going on between me and one's? i really wanna know what happen between us.... until we cant be friend.... mami, what should i do??? i feel terrible now....