y u being unfair towards me??? y must i be in this situation??

y life being unfair towards me??? must i really be in tis way??? its been a long time i had never dreamt of mummy... tis few days i keep on dreaming bout her... am i missing her too much tat y i could dreamt of her....

last 2 days i went back home... its been 6 months i never back home.... my feeling upside down... when i step in... all still the same... but i thought of mum once i back there... mummy leave us a lot of memories.... no one will know how i felt... when i at the kitchen seeing all mummy cooking utensils, i miss mummy cooking there... i miss the dishes.... i miss mummy preparing and busy at kitchen.... when i enter her room, i miss seeing her slept in her room.... i miss her sleeping face... when i looked at the cabinet, i miss the time i taking care of her when she sick... i miss the time i bathe for her when she unable to bath ad walk..... i miss the time i acc her walk around and be beside her when all the people around her look down on her..... i cant describe out how much i miss her.... i miss her a lot a lot......

wen we go for cheng beng.... i really dun wanna go... i dun wan to pray... i wan my mum to live... i wan celebrate new year with her but its not life and death.....i wan celebrate my birthday with her.... i dun wan her to leave me.... i really need her.... i really miss her.... i wanna say I LOVE YOU to her not GOODBYE to her... i dun care hw much i being hurt by my dad.... i never told my piggy hw i felt.... i am in depression.... dunno hw to tell him as well....

i also never expect people to understand hw i felt... i felt sad when a friend of mine din treat me as their friend... but at least i hope u all pls respect me.... no matter hw i am also a human being... born with a mum and had lost my mum, the one that i loved the most.... i respect u all as my fren, could u all also respect me as ur fren.... pls dun insult and humiliate me..... u wont get hurt but i will....



i not sure and dunno whether next wed i should go for a check up or not... i scare on the result... what if the result is positive??? hw am i going to face it... i not sure i should tell u o not??? i am in a blur.... just wondering y life being unfair towards me.... my mum had leave me but y must i have this pain and illness.... i really dunno....