regret had been too late..............

08/07/2011

on tis day i felt upside down..... a day i had been waiting for so long finnaly arrived but i am not feeling happy as  should be... my world become upside down... early tis morning we both wake up... piggy wake me up with his smiling face and how much he wanna to go with me on tis trip to cameron... i felt hard to wake up and at last i even wake up... for i had waited for tis moment for so long and now its here... i cant just give it up and because of my insist we finally off to cameron...
along the way he just smile towards me however i felt something inside him...but i dunno what it is... i din bother much and can be say i am just thinking on going to cameron... i dun wan to wait anymore... i become selfish... along our journey at there, i took a snapshot video on the beginning of the journey... i wan to create a special moment for us... he show his happy faces towards me all the way... he makes me feels the freezy cool air i never felt before... he gave the special moment and my dream come true.... we were so happy that i had almost forgotten that my dear piggy is still sick and not yet recover.......
we reach apartment, we put our belonging and we go out without having rest.. i even forget that u r not well... until its time for lunch, i finally realise how sick u r... when we back to our apartment, u were so pain... when i saw u, i begin to realise how selfish i was...

08/07/2011
our second day at cameron... we all thought u were ok... however actually u r not ok at all.... u kept ur promise to bring go whenever i wan and u ac me all te day bcz of ur promise... u even acc me eat something u cant even eat as u noe ur throat cant accept it... until when we go to c doc... only then i realised that ur sore throat had become very serious... u will need to admit hospital to put on antibiotic in ur blood and i am the one who should be blame for what had happen in u... if not because of my stubborn u wont be in tis heavy sick and probably u r ok d... if not becasue of me u wont have to admit hospital d... i am really hate myself so much... u really love me but i...

i cant forgive myself fr what happen to u....i am so sorry.......... if not because of my stubborn u wont be in tis pain.... if not because of my stubborn u wont be in tis situation... i am so scare now... i am so scare of losing u now... i dun wan to lose u........... but i dunno what should i do d now......... i am so regret....

dear,

please forgive me. please forgive my selfishness and my stubborn... i am afraid of losing u now... my tear dropping now but it is useless as it cant help u in anything an it also cant reduce ur pains... i am such an useless gf.. please forgive me........... its too late for me to regret now....... u love me so much......... i love u dear tommy ong yee sheng............